Judgey-Wudgey: The 54th Grammy Awards - Part Deux

Rolling on with one of the tackiest, and therefore most interesting, red carpet during awards season - let's wrap up the Grammys.

There were a couple of old-school diva moments on Sunday night. This is an event that holds modern-day prima donnas and icons of fashion in music - in other words Cindi Lauper and Diana Ross showed the likes of Minaj why you still get invited to this thing after you've started drawing a pension, and OWN the shit out of the red carpet.

What a fabulous pairing Cindi Lauper and Jean Paul Gaultier are. A triple breasted tuxedo jacket and split skirt with lace corset and gold chains to beat the band (most likely, in Cindi's case, literally) - only Lauper can bring this much look to an event as over the top as the Grammys and make it look easy. 

Much to the shock of the media, Diana Ross emerged from her limo in a bling cuffed tuxedo, and humongous diva hair, of course. Maybe she was running a little behind (those fabulous extensions don't weave themselves). Oh, and BOW FUCKING DOWN. 

I'm still on the fence with Jessie J's look. I hate sweetheart necklines and thick shoulder straps, so I'm really trying to be objective here. Yes, it's fashion forward on both hair and gown fronts but that Julien Macdonald dress just looks so damn heavy. Add the bold black hair and it's overall a very serious look, not at all reflecting how nice and accessible she is.

Paris Hilton wore a perfectly stylish dress but had to ruin it all by opening her mouth, going off about her 'music' and 'studio' 'collaborations' being really 'fun'...blah, blah, blah. 

Let's face it, her only real talent is spending her great-grandfather's dollars to get attention.

I could barely keep my ears open listening to Taylor Swift boring the head off Seacrest about pouring life's jard challenges into her music and how theraputic it is to perform it and for people to listen. Thankfully her gold lace Zuhair Murad gown kept my eyes open long enough to wake my ears up to hear her say that she saw this gown and decided to save it for the Grammys. 

Girl, give me your problems for a day. 

Kelly Rowland joined the ranks of the perfectly lovely in Alberta Ferretti. Personally, I would have liked to see something with more attitude for the Grammys (see Cindi Lauper). This gown would be perfectly at home on the SAG or Golden Globes red carpet. Kelly's earring were literally to DIE FOR. Fucking Lorraine Schwartz is slowly giving me a jewelry fetish I have economically no hope of satisfying.

Also in Zuhair Murad (and far less of it, I might add) was Kate Beckinsale. Can anyone tell me what the hell she was doing at the Grammys? Is it that her mission to maintain her fame drove her there, looking to steal a little music industry thunder?

Speaking of fame-whoring actresses.

Gwyneth Paltrow, fuck you and your fucking perfect body and your fucking privileged career and your fucking designer buddies and your fucking stupid GOOP website.

Last and most definitely not least was the worst use of tassels in the history of fashion, curtain tie-backs, and lamp shades.

Bonnie McKee, you need help. In every sense of the word. Truly hiddy.

The Judgey-Wudgey juggernaut continues to thunder through celebrity and fashion with BAFTA red carpet, next!

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